The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Wedding Day This ebook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this ebook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. Title: The Wedding Day Editor: J. F. Hurst Release date: January 5, 2008 [eBook #24171] Most recently updated: January 3, 2021 Language: English Credits: E-text prepared by Eileen Gormly, Norbert H. Langkau, Daryl Hrdlicka, *** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY *** E-text prepared by Eileen Gormly, Norbert H. Langkau, Daryl Hrdlicka, and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team (https://www.pgdp.net) Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which includes the original illustrations. See 24171-h.htm or 24171-h.zip: (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171/24171-h/24171-h.htm) or (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/1/7/24171/24171-h.zip) Transcriber's Notes: Text that is handwritten in the original is surrounded by tildes (~). The second signature on the "Witnesses" page is too faint in the original to be readable. THE WEDDING DAY. The Service--The Marriage Certificate--Words of Counsel. Edited by JOHN F. HURST, D.D., LL.D. Buffalo: H. H. Otis. 1889. Copyright, 1888, by H. H. OTIS Buffalo, N. Y. CONTENTS Page FORM FOR THE SOLEMNIZATION OF MATRIMONY, 5 CERTIFICATE, 13 WITNESSES, 14 THE NEW HOME, 15 THE HOME ALTAR, 21 THE HOME BEAUTIFUL, 28 GOOD READING AT HOME, 32 FORBEARANCE, 37 THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME, 44 FORM FOR THE SOLEMNIZATION OF MATRIMONY. [THE PARTS IN BRACKETS THROUGHOUT MAY BE USED OR NOT, AT DISCRETION.] _At the day and time appointed for the Solemnization of Matrimony, the persons to be married--having been qualified according to law--standing together, the Man on the right hand and the Woman on the left, the Minister shall say:_ Dearly beloved: we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the presence of these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman in holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocency, signifying unto us the mystical union that exists between Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought in Cana of Galilee, and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in the fear of God. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore, if any can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. [_And also, speaking unto the persons who are to be married, the Minister shall say:_ I require and charge you both, that if either of you know any impediment why you may not be lawfully joined together in Matrimony, you do now confess it; for be ye well assured, that so many as are coupled together otherwise than God's word doth allow are not joined together by God, neither is their Matrimony lawful.] _If no impediment be alleged, then shall the Minister say unto the Man:_ M. Wilt thou have this woman to be thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto her so long as ye both shall live? _The Man shall answer:_ I will. _Then shall the Minister say unto the Woman:_ N. Wilt thou have this man to be thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of Matrimony? Wilt thou love, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health: and, forsaking all other, keep thee only unto him so long as ye both shall live? _The Woman shall answer:_ I will. [_Then the Minister shall cause the Man with his right hand to take the Woman by her right hand, and to say after him as followeth:_ I _M._ take thee _N._ to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance: And thereto I plight thee my faith. _Then shall they loose their hands, and the Woman with her right hand taking the Man by his right hand shall likewise say after the Minister:_ I _N._ take thee _M._ to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance: and thereto I plight thee my faith.] _Then shall the Minister Pray thus:_ O eternal God, Creator and Preserver of all mankind, Giver of all spiritual grace, the Author of everlasting life: send thy blessing upon these thy servants, this man and this woman, whom we bless in thy name; that as Isaac and Rebecca lived faithfully together, so these persons may surely perform and keep the vow and covenant between them made, and may ever remain in perfect love and peace together, and live according to thy laws, through Jesus Christ our Lord. _Amen._ [_If the parties desire it, the Man shall here hand a Ring to the Minister, who shall return it to him, and direct him to place it on the third finger of the Woman's left hand. And the Man shall say to the Woman, repeating after the Minister:_ With this ring I thee wed, and with my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. _Amen._] _Then shall the Minister join their right hands together, and say:_ Forasmuch as _M._ and _N._ have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have pledged their faith either to other, and have declared the same by joining of hands; I pronounce that they are husband and wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder. _Amen._ _And the Minister shall add this blessing:_ God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, and so fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace, that ye may so live together in this life, that in the world to come ye may have life everlasting. _Amen._ _Then shall the Minister offer the following Prayer:_ O God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob, bless this man and this woman, and sow the seed of eternal life in their hearts, that whatsoever in thy holy word they shall profitably learn, they may indeed fulfill the same. Look, O Lord, mercifully on them from heaven, and bless them: as thou didst send thy blessings upon Abraham and Sarah to their great comfort, so vouchsafe to send thy blessings upon this man and this woman, that they, obeying thy will, and always being in safety under thy protection, may abide in thy love unto their lives' end, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Almighty God, who at the beginning didst create our first parents, Adam and Eve, and didst sanctify and join them together in marriage, pour upon these persons the riches of thy grace, sanctify and bless them, that they may please thee both in body and soul, and live together in holy love unto their lives' end. _Amen._ _Here the Minister may use extemporary Prayer._ _Then the Minister shall repeat the Lord's Prayer:_ Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread: and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us: and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. _Amen._ [Illustration: This Certifies That ~Robert B. Lawrence~ of ~Olean~ State of ~N. Y.~ and ~Maude L. Harvey~ of ~Olean~ State of ~N. Y.~ WERE BY ME UNITED IN + HOLY MATRIMONY + ACCORDING TO THE ORDINANCE OF GOD AND THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF ~New York~ at ~Home of the bride Olean N. Y.~ on the ~Eleventh~ day of ~July-11-1900~ in the year of our Lord one thousand ~nine~ hundred ~1900~ ~G. R. Harvey~ Minister of the Gospel.] [Illustration: WITNESSES: ~Arthur Wright~ ~ ...~ ~John S. Seivert~ ~Jessie Seivert~ ~Francis E. Selover,~ ~Mr. & Mrs. A J Lawrence~] THE NEW HOME. The founding of a new home marks an important era in a human life. Whether you be poor or wealthy, wise or ignorant, it is all the same--you begin a new existence. The associations of childhood and youth now undergo a total change. The familiar scenes disappear suddenly. Longfellow, in his "Hanging of the Crane," writes the following touching words on the eventful day: "O fortunate, O happy day, When a new household finds its place Among the myriad homes of earth, Like a new star sprung to birth, And rolled on its harmonious way Into the boundless realms of space! ..... "For two alone, there in the hall, Is spread the table round and small; Upon the polished silver shine The evening lamps; but, more divine, The light of love shines over all; Of love that says not mine and thine, But ours, for ours is thine and mine. ..... "They want no guests; they needs must be Each other's own best company." What sort of a home shall the new one be? Shall it be the abode of happy hearts and pure and noble lives, or shall discontent and misery prevail? Jane Welch Carlyle says truly: "If ever one is to pray--if ever one is to feel grave and anxious--if ever one is to shrink from vain show and vain babble--surely it is just on the occasion of two human beings binding themselves to one another, for better and for worse, till death part them." Great is the difference in households. As one walks along a beautiful street in a city there is nothing in the fronts of the houses to indicate the kind of life which passes within doors. But an intimate acquaintance, such as a faithful pastor gains in the course of his labors, often reveals the fact that in some of the most magnificent houses there is no peace or joy, while in some of the humblest cottages there is a calm and loving spirit which continues and grows from year to year. The kind of a house, even the adornments which wealth and luxury bring, do not determine the true home. The two people who establish the new household decide its quality. That the people who occupy a home decide its quality is beautifully expressed by Nathaniel Cotton, a poet of the last century: "If solid happiness we prize, Within our breast this jewel lies; And they are fools who roam: The world has nothing to bestow; From our own selves our joys must flow, And that dear hut, our home." If those who occupy the home resolve to be happy and contented, to avoid envying persons of larger means and higher social position, to lead a life of mutual confidence and esteem, and to serve God with trustful love, their home will be to them a sacred place. I was once pastor of a church in Fulton Street, Elizabeth, N. J., where the most of the members were mechanics and laborers and on the railroad. Their circumstances were limited, and they had but little power to adorn their houses. But in some of those homes there reigned such beauty of spirit, such contentment with the condition in life, such kindliness and sympathy, such cheerfulness and patience, that it was a joy to cross the threshold and commune with the members of the plain and unambitious families. The memories of those visits are among the most delightful of my pastoral experience. Suppose, then, your new home is plain and homely. Remember, that marble walls, and broad and polished halls, and masterpieces in painting on the walls, and a daily fare of luxuries, and table service of silver and gold, and a retinue of liveried servants do not constitute a home. Though the new home consist of only a few rooms, if mutual love and admiration reign within the narrow walls, no historical palace can be half so beautiful or attractive. "Home's not merely four square walls, Though hung with pictures nicely gilded; Home is where affection calls, Filled with shrines the heart hath builded. ..... "Home's not merely roof and room; Home needs something to endear it; Home is where the heart can bloom, Where there's some kind heart to cheer it." But for a home to be truly beautiful there must needs be, always, one guest--the Saviour. There were many magnificent buildings in Jerusalem when He walked its streets and performed his miraculous works of healing. But in all the land, and in all the ages, there was never one more charming than that little home in Bethany, where Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha constituted the household. And why was that the perfect home? Because our Lord was always the welcome Guest. THE HOME ALTAR. Every thing depends on the way you begin your new life in your own new home. The household altar is a supreme necessity. No hesitation or timidity should be allowed to prevent family worship. If both of you are members of the Church, the holding of a brief family worship need not be a serious trial. The difficulty will be when only one is a Christian, and still greater will it be if neither is a Christian. What is to be done under such circumstances? Must the having family worship be postponed until the religious life be commenced? That is uncertain, and it may be years before a household altar is established. The only safe way is to begin at once by holding a short service. Simple it may be. It was the daily custom of President Hayes, during his presidential term of office, to convene his family for daily worship. The prayer consisted of only the Lord's Prayer. But it was enough. The minds of the household were directed toward spiritual things. The help of God was sought, to bear whatever burdens the day might bring. However great the embarrassment in the face of this great duty, let it not prevent the brief domestic worship. Begin--begin immediately. A short Scripture reading, followed by prayer, even only the Lord's Prayer, will be sufficient. There are good forms of prayer, some of which I have used to advantage. Fletcher's _Family Devotion_; Sturm's _Family Devotions_; Morison's _Family Prayers_; Cumming's _Daily Family Devotion_; _Family Worship_, by one hundred and eighty clergymen of the Church of Scotland; Cassell's _Family Devotion_; Dale's _Domestic Liturgy_; Thornton's _Family Prayers_; Thompson and Spurgeon's _Home Worship and the Use of the Bible in the Home_; and Jay's _Morning and Evening Exercises_, are good books for this purpose. The works of Fletcher, Thornton, and the _Home Worship_ of Thompson and Spurgeon are worthy of special commendation. Even when one is accustomed to extemporaneous prayer, the use of one of the above books will, nevertheless, be of great service in preventing stereotyped phrases and trains of thought. I have often found that my own needs, and I believe those of my family, have been better and more exactly described by others than by myself. It is best, however, to get into no fixed form. Let the extemporaneous prayer, or the printed form of prayer, be used judiciously, as circumstances require. Care should be taken that the home worship may not be made tedious, and thus become a burden. I have always found it best to use the Bible for the Scripture selection rather than the selections made in the books containing forms of prayer. It is well to read the Bible in course, and to have _the same copy of the Bible_ from which to read brief selections, without being governed by the divisions in chapters. Your one and the same Bible, being used every day in family worship, becomes very precious with the growing years. It will be associated with all the tenderest memories of the home life. I have occasionally used a different copy of the Bible in my own home for family worship, but none is half so dear as the plain, old, and well-worn copy with which I began, when I established my own home altar, far back in the years. But, besides worship together at the family altar, there should be private prayer. Every one should have a place where he can worship God alone. Our Lord saw the necessity that each of his disciples should be alone with him. Hence he said: "When thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly." Begin the day by solitary communing with God. End the day in the same way, by asking God for his forgiveness for the past, for his preservation for the night, and for his care in all the time to come. But some one may say: "Does not this attention to religious duties make the new home gloomy?" Not at all. It is the way to make it bright and cheerful. The wedding day soon passes by, and in time will come the regular domestic life, with its monotony and cares. Leave this life to God's ordering. He alone can make us strong for every hour's demands. The German poet Schirmer says a wise word, which well applies to all who begin life in the new home: "Left to ourselves we shall but stray; O, lead us in the narrow way: With wisest counsel guide us, And give us steadfastness, that we May henceforth truly follow thee, Whatever woes betide us. ..... "O mighty Rock, O Source of life, Let thy clear word, 'mid doubt and strife, Be so within us burning, That we be faithful unto death In thy pure love and holy faith, From thee true wisdom learning. Lord, thy graces on us shower; By thy power Christ confessing Let us win his grace and blessing." Vinet here lays down the true principle of a thoroughly good life at home: "Wherever we advance in the path of marriage and of life, with eyes lifted up toward a Saviour we love, with a salvation we hope for, with a spirit of prayer and supplication through which Jesus Christ constantly intervenes by his Spirit between the husband and wife--there, indeed, a marriage may be happy; nay, must be infallibly so. The union between two converted hearts is necessarily sweet and unutterable; without this there is no security." The new home consecrated by prayer--daily prayer--will become what that beautiful home of Sir Thomas More was--"a school and exercise of the Christian religion." THE HOME BEAUTIFUL. Great art is required in making beautiful the new home. The house need not be large and stately in order to be attractive to the eye. More attention has been paid of late in this country to the adornment of homes than in former years. We Americans begin to see, as never before, that the enjoyment of the occupants of a house is in some way connected with the furnishing and general effect. Let every room be used. Let the inner doors be kept wide open. In this way the atmosphere will be uniform and of free circulation; the interior of the house will appear to its full size, and the general effect will be more cheerful. Even the humblest means need not prevent some simple hangings and a few prints on the walls. I would let the sunlight pour into the new home. The old dread that the carpets will get faded and the curtains get spoiled is an abomination. My own habit is, so soon as I get down stairs in the morning--and I am an early riser--to draw aside the curtains, to let the shades fly up, and to throw the sashes wide open. By and by, if from the street this airy appearance is considered a little unfashionable, and those within choose to shut out the sunlight in a measure, I rejoice that I have had my unfashionable way, and the sun has had his golden way, for a while at least. Gladness comes into the house with the blaze of the blessed sun. Let all the rooms share the joy. I suppose a carpet somewhat faded will wear as long as if the colors were fresh. But if the penalty for having bright and sunny rooms is to be some faded carpets and window hangings, let the full penalty be paid, and cheerfully, too. No price is too great for a bright and sunny home. The sight of a few flowers adds to the beauty of even the humblest home. Even a sprig of arbutus or jessamine, or a lily of the valley, on the table, will make every meal the sweeter. The Germans of the poorest class, all over the Fatherland, never forget to have flowers in their lowly homes. If the family occupy only a few rooms in a lofty story, they will be sure to have beautiful plants on the window-ledge, and here and there within the rooms. These are of such kind that the succession of flowers is well kept up in all seasons. Throughout the year, when there is no frost, these flowering plants at the German windows can be seen from the street to the highest flat. The varied flowers and the hanging vines form beautiful pictures in village and town. Away with the thought that wealth is needed to make the home beautiful! It is a question of taste, tact, and a desire to please another. On the very street where I live there is a quiet little house, occupied by a newly-married couple. It is inexpensive, and the furniture is not costly. But there is so much taste in the furnishing and ornamentation, and there is so much brightness in all the rooms, that the home is a charming picture. I seldom pass it without thinking of the beautiful, but not costly, interior. GOOD READING AT HOME. A home without books is a desert. In these days all the standard authors can be bought at small price, and even the humblest home should be adorned with the companionship of at least some of them. You may not have a taste for reading; at any rate, you may think you have not. But possibly you have made a mistake in the kind of books you have tried to enjoy, and so imagined that you do not like any books. Try another class, and you will likely be surprised to find that you can enjoy them. Suppose you have not the experience to select proper books. Now, you will have a pastor, of course, and a church home. Make a friend of that pastor. He ought to be a good adviser in the matter of proper books. At any rate, get some judicious friend to help you in the choice. Buy only a very few books at a time, and let your little home-library grow gradually. Never buy a book that you have your doubts about. Emerson's advice to buy only a standard work, which has been out for years, has its good and safe quality. Avoid too much fiction and a superabundance of periodical literature. One popular magazine is enough. The money which you have for reading-matter should be confined chiefly to books, and they ought to be the world's masterpieces. I am satisfied that in the average home there is too little reading. History, biography, travel, with a fair share of religious books, can be read in course at home, in the odd half hours, and the mind become richly stored with facts. Is there any thing in the domestic life which ought to interfere with this constant culture of the mind? Not at all. The domestic life is highly favorable to mental discipline. The very beginning of real intellectual improvement in many a mind has been in the new home of persons just married. The reading aloud of an interesting work, the one to the other, is a delightful entertainment, and gives a new charm to life. Every effort must be employed to keep the mind from becoming sluggish and barren. We need information, the thoughts of the good and great and richly endowed, to make our own lives richer. It would be a wise arrangement if every man and woman, on establishing their home, would set apart some time for intellectual improvement by the reading of good books. I am acquainted with a young lady, who, on entering her plain little house, found that her husband and herself were so interrupted by visits and other claims on their time in the evening, that they resolved to rise an hour earlier in the morning, and devote the time to reading and study. They were thus free from interruption, and had ample opportunity, before the regular duties of the day began, to store their minds with useful knowledge. I think it probable that they will carry this excellent custom with them through life. Much of my time is spent in high-ways, and along the narrow by-ways of life. My homes are many. But when my good fortune brings me at night to occupy a room far from my own home, where a good book or two are to be found, I can say with Milton, in his _Areopagitica_: "A good book is the precious life-blood of a master-spirit embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond;" and with Wordsworth, in his "Personal Talk": "Dreams, books, are each a world; and books, we know, Are a substantial world, both pure and good; Round these, with tendrils strong as flesh and blood, Our pastime and our happiness will grow." I like a home where you can see the books. A choice book-case with glass doors, and the doors locked, ought to be expelled from the home. Let the books be where they can be seen and easily reached. Let them not be confined to one room, but so distributed that nearly every room shall have at least a few in sight. A few books here and there about the house, and even in the bed-rooms, are worth more than a costly piece of furniture. When we see books in our homes, and they are where we can handle them without effort, we are apt to take them up, and get snatches of good reading. FORBEARANCE. The marriage bond is sacred. It lasts for life: "Until death do us part." But it is probable that qualities of temperament and mind in each one will develop which will surprise the other. Some of these may produce an unfavorable impression. Others may prove most agreeable surprises. Each person has come from a different class of associations, and each has a different nature. Here comes in the great necessity of accommodation and adaptation. Too early and too much criticism spoils many a home. "One silent, both happy," is an old motto well worth observing. But often a single appreciative word will brighten the whole sky. One of Franklin's plain phrases has its wise lesson: "As we must account for every idle word, so we must for every idle silence." Frederika Bremer says: "Marriage has a morrow, and again a morrow." You will need to bear with each other, and to so act, each to the other, that every day may be made beautiful and happy, and the whole future one of mutual and respectful forbearance. "Foolish to think," says Dr. A. P. Peabody, "that the whole mutual life can flow on like the early stream, without a ripple or eddy. Home is a school, a discipline whereby husband and wife are to grow unto each other, getting rid of their angularities, harmonizing their peculiar characteristics, and more and more becoming one in thought, sympathy, and life. The true blessedness of wedded souls is not insured by a simple exchange of plighted faith. It comes through and after many a self-denial, many a crucifixion of the will, many a scourging of the resentment, anger, pride, vanity, and passions of the heart. It is true here, as in other relations, that 'he who saveth his life shall lose it, and he that loseth his life shall save it.'" Do not forget, then, that the life at home has its severe tests. If it is not an expected thing, it will be the unexpected which will try your nature and make your burden heavy. You should remember, if there is fault, that it is not all on one side. The unkind word may come to the lips, but it should never be spoken. "Words are mighty, words are living; Serpents with their venomous stings, Or bright angels, crowding round us, With heaven's light upon their wings: Every word has its own spirit, True or false, that never dies; Every word man's lips have uttered Echoes in God's skies." The graces of patience, sublime calmness, golden silence, should be cultivated with delightful zeal. You may each have had your way, but now the way of another must be respected. Besides, it may be a much better and safer way than yours. John Angell James says: "Where both have infirmities, and they are so constantly together, innumerable occasions will be furnished, if we are eager, or even willing, to avail ourselves of the opportunities for those contentions which, if they do not produce a permanent suppression of love, lead to its temporary interruption. Many things we should connive at, others we should pass by with an unprovoked mind, and in all things most carefully avoid even what at first may seem to be an innocent disputation." The real basis of adaptation is mutual respect and love. Neither the husband nor the wife must judge each other too critically. The indiscreet word, or error of any kind, must never be allowed to cause a doubt as to the heart's deep affection. Gentleness, patience, time, will give ample opportunity for the full sunlight to break forth. Each heart needs the other for true happiness. It must be a united life. In "Hiawatha" we read the true relation: "As unto the bow the cord is, So unto the man is woman, Though she bends him, she obeys him; Though she draws him, yet she follows, Useless each without the other." The married life, to be supremely happy, must be thoroughly unselfish. I was once on shipboard with a tourist who was accompanied by his wife, but for whose opinion he seemed, even to other travelers, to show but little respect. The voyage was a long one, and while the wife's bearing was most gentle and kindly, his manner impressed me as thoroughly selfish. I do not imagine that he was aware of the abrupt and strongly personal quality of his bearing toward his refined and cultured wife. With all his wealth he lacked that appearance of tenderness which is more than gold or precious stones. No effort must be spared by either husband or wife to contribute to the other's happiness and comfort. It does not require a long time, especially when living together, for one to see what will please another. This desire to please, strengthening with the days and years, revealing itself in a thousand kindly ways, will do more than any thing else to make the home a paradise on earth. Cowper gives the true secret of a beautiful and strengthening reciprocal adaptation: "The kindest and the happiest pair Will have occasion to forbear; And something every day they live To pity, and perchance forgive. The love that cheers life's latest stage, Proof against sickness and old age, Is gentle, delicate and kind: To faults compassionate or blind, And will with sympathy endure Those evils it would gladly cure." I believe the Germans excel all others in literature in their warm tributes to the faithful love and devotion of their wives. Kerner, the Suabian author, said this beautiful word in testimony of his wife after their long years of happiness together: "She hath borne with me." Martin Luther said of his wife, the devoted Catherine: "I would not exchange my poverty with her for all the riches of Croesus without her." Bismarck, the man of "blood and iron," says of his wife: "She it is who made me what I am." THE YESTERDAYS OF HOME. Every day becomes a yesterday. Our conduct at home should be such that the morrow will bring no regrets. Mrs. Sigourney thus describes the changes that must come over the brightest home: "Not for the summer's hour alone, When skies resplendent shine And youth and pleasure fill the throne, Our hearts and hands we join. "But for those stern and wintry days Of sorrow, pain, and fear. When Heaven's wise discipline doth make Our earthly journey drear." It is sad enough when either a man or his wife learns first, when one or the other is taken away by death, that there has been a life-long want of considerate tenderness. Supposing the late Thomas Carlyle had been a little more attentive to his brilliant and devoted wife during their long and lonely life in the plain home in Cheyne Row, in Chelsea, London, such words as these, which escaped her in a letter to a friend, could never have been said: "Those little attentions which we women attach so much importance to he was never in the habit of rendering to any one; his upbringing, and the severe turn of mind he has from nature, had alike indisposed him toward them." But the grim old man saw his mistake at last. It was all too late, however. It was only after all her sacrifices had been made, and he had written his many works, and she lay in her grave, that he awoke to a knowledge of his long neglect. Mr. Froude says that Carlyle often said, when there was no more opportunity for a kind word to reach his wife: "O if I could but see her for five minutes, to assure her that I really cared for her throughout all that; but she never knew it, she never knew it." It is no wonder that Mr. Froude was compelled to write of Carlyle these sad words: "For many years after she had left him, when he passed the spot where she was last seen alive he would bare his gray head in the wind and rain, his features wrung with unavailing sorrow." We are prone to take too many things for granted. You should not assume that your thoughtless word, or harsh manner, or forgetfulness of little and delicate attentions will have no effect, and will be duly passed by as unmeaning. No such thing! Every word or look which is incompatible with genuine love and respect weighs like a millstone. Gentle attentions will be remembered, not only through the day, but through all the days. Recently, while on a visit in Irvington-on-the-Hudson, the widow of a celebrated publisher led me to the portrait of her lamented husband, and stood in admiration before the magnificent painting. She then said to me: "I esteem it the greatest honor that could be conferred upon me to have been the wife of such a man." Could there be a grander tribute to an attentive and devoted husband? In that exquisite work, _Memorials of a Quiet Life_, Mrs. Hare pays this beautiful tribute to her husband: "I never saw any body so easy to live with, by whom the daily petty things of life were passed over so lightly; and then there is a charm in the _refinement_ of feeling which is not to be told in its influence upon trifles." Mrs. Stowe, in describing the good qualities of the Duchess of Sutherland in her own home in Scotland, says that she excelled in _considerateness_. Paul's advice is as beautiful as it is true, and suits young married people perfectly. In the Revised Version it reads thus: "In lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself; not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others." Another piece of Pauline advice is of equally useful quality: "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another." Happy are they whom death has not yet divided, and to whom it is still granted to say such words and do such kindly acts as will prove delightful memories when the Happy To-Days become only Yesterdays in the Home. *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE WEDDING DAY *** Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be renamed. Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™ concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given away—you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. START: FULL LICENSE THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license. Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works 1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. 1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. 1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™ License when you share it without charge with others. 1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United States. 1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: 1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed: This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook. 1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™ License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. 1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg™. 1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License. 1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™ website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. 1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. 1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that: • You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.” • You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™ works. • You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work. • You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of Project Gutenberg™ works. 1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. 1.F. 1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment. 1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the “Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE. 1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to fix the problem. 1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. 1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. 1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause. Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™ Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life. Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org. Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws. The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS. The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate. While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to donate. International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate. Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™ electronic works Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility: www.gutenberg.org. This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.