The Project Gutenberg eBook of Le Noël des Petits Gueux, by Max Du Veuzit

[Transcriber's note: Max du Veuzit (pseudonyme d'Alphonsine Vavasseur-Acher Mme François Simonet) (1876-1952), Le Noël des Petits Gueux (1909)]

PIECE REALISTE EN UN ACTE

PERSONNAGES:

DECOR:

SCENE I

L'IVROGNE

La porte s'ouvre et il apparaît titubant. Une bouteille pleine sort à moitié de sa poche. Toujours chantant, il fait quelques pas, puis s'arrête:

— C'est c'tte sacrée Maria qu'aura mis une chaise là pour que j'me f… par terre!… Y a plus d'enfants! L'respect d'la famille s'en va complètement!

— La Régie a été instituée pour embêter les citoyens, mais ça prend pas avec moi… quand l'allumette rate, j'crie vive la Régie… pour la narguer!… et quand elle ne rate pas… (Il en prend une:) Vive la République!

Il veut atteindre la chandelle mais sa main qui tremble semble vouloir allumer tous les goulots des bouteilles:

— Ca doit être encore un tour de c'tte sacrée Maria… C'est humide, ça peut pas brûler, pardi!

— Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui mouille tous les bouts de chandelle!

Il a fini cependant par allumer celle-ci. Tombant en arrêt devant les bouteilles vides:

— Quelle armée!… Si c'est moi le copain qui ai vidé tout ça j'suis pas à plaindre, mon colon!

— Une vraie panse de député qui veut analyser tous les liquides de la buvette…

— Zut! Tout est sifflé!… Alors faut serrer la ceinture?… Non!
Zidor a des réserves dans sa cave.

— Tout tourne! Tout tourne… (parlant) Ca vous met du soleil en tête… J'ai… j'ai vingt ans… le coeur solide (au public) Y en a pas un qui me roulerait en ce moment. Qu'est-ce qui veut lutter avec moi. J'parie vingt ronds.

Il a posé machinalement la bouteille dans un coin et quand il veut recommencer à boire il en prend une vide sur la table. Il la porte à ses lèvres, puis l'examine étonné. La voix de plus en plus pâteuse:

— Ca coule plus! (au public) C'est encore c'tte sacrée Maria… elle a bouché le goulot…

— Si c'est pas malheureux d'avoir une fille qui met des bouchons là où qu'il en faut pas!…

— Mon pauvre Zidor! t'as pas de chance avec tes enfants… Ils ne te font que des mauvais tours!

— Maria!… fais-moi mon lit… (un temps) Tu veux pas me faire mon lit!… (larmoyant) Ca te portera pas chance…

— Non! mais c'est y pas malheureux… d'avoir une fille qui… qui fait rien au lit!

(Il tombe endormi d'un lourd sommeil d'ivrogne. Il est affaissé plutôt qu'assis sur sa chaise; le haut du corps et la tête s'appuient sur la table. Quand il commence à ronfler, la porte s'ouvre timidement et Charlot passe la tête par l'entrebâillement. Les bouteilles l'empêchent de voir son père).

SCENE II

L'IVROGNE, MARIA, CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

(Ils sont entrés; Maria aperçoit l'ivrogne, instinctivement, elle saisit le bras du petit).

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

(Elle referme la porte très doucement. Charlot s'est avancé sur la pointe des pieds vers l'ivrogne et l'examine).

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

Oui, mais on peut tout de même être tranquilles… on s'couchera sans qu'il nous entende.

(Elle prend le petit dans ses bras et l'assied sur une chaise près du lit pour qu'il s'appuie sur celui-ci).

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

Et j'suis gelé, encore! C'est pas ce qu'on a mangé aujourd'hui qui m'a réchauffé l'estomac: un gendarme et du pain, c'est guère réconfortant!

MARIA

(Ses yeux vont à l'ivrogne dont la respiration devient bruyante. Elle a un geste de colère).

Y s'a soûlé, encore, c'bougre-là!… On n'a boulotté qu'un croûton dur d'puis l'matin. Va t'y falloir encore s'coucher sans souper.

CHARLOT

MARIA

C'est Noël: y s'ra pas allé travailler cet après-midi… Depuis que la mère est défunte, c'est comme ça à toutes les fêtes!

CHARLOT

MARIA

Allons, pleure pas, Charlot; tu sais bien que j'fais ce que j'peux pour la remplacer…

CHARLOT

Mais j'ai mal là… (Il montre son estomac et éclate en sanglots)
J'veux manger, moi.

MARIA

CHARLOT

Ah et puis!!… Tant pis s'il se réveille et s'il casse tout! (Elle le secoue par le bras) Eh l'père!… l'gosse a faim; faudrait voir à y donner à manger.

MARIA

L'IVROGNE

Ben, voyons, écoute-moi… J'te dis qu'on a rien dans l'ventre depuis c'matin et qu'ça peut pas durer comme ça…

(Il reste insensible à l'appel de sa fille; même comme elle le secoue trop fortement, il roule sous la table avec un bafouillage incohérent; puis il se tait et reste immobile. Maria en le voyant tomber a un mouvement de recul. De loin, elle le contemple avec mépris).

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

(D'un bond, elle se rapproche de l'ivrogne, et délicatement, elle tâte les vêtements et retourne les poches. Du désappointement peu à peu se lit sur son visage).

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

(Successivement ils sentent le goulot puis goûtent le liquide: la bouteille change donc quatre fois de mains).

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

C'est vrai qu'si on avait le ventre mieux garni, c't'idée-là nous viendrait pas.

CHARLOT

(Il va pour porter à ses lèvres le goulot, mais la main de Maria retient la bouteille).

CHARLOT

MARIA

CHARLOT

(De nouveau la bouteille passe et repasse de main en main. Pendant que le rideau tombe on voit Charlot, ivre, s'appuyer en riant sur sa soeur pendant que celle-ci se soutient au mur pour ne pas tomber).

FIN

MONTIVILLIERS

THEATRE

ROMANS

DIVERS

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LE NOËL DES PETITS GUEUX ***

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