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Title: Supplement to "Punch", 16th December 1914

Author: Various

Release date: December 14, 2009 [eBook #30678]

Language: English

Credits: Produced by Neville Allen, Malcolm Farmer and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SUPPLEMENT TO "PUNCH", 16TH DECEMBER 1914 ***









THE UNSPEAKABLE TURK.

(Supplement to "Punch", 16th December 1914)







"PUNCH" OFFICE, 10 BOUVERIE STREET, LONDON, E.C.

[Pg 1]
THE STATUS QUO

THE STATUS QUO.

Turkey. "Will you not still befriend me?"

Britannia. "Befriend you?—Not with your hands of that colour!"


September 9, 1876.


England indignantly protests against the atrocities committed by the Turk in Bulgaria.

[Pg 2]
ONE BUBBLE MORE

ONE BUBBLE MORE!!

January 6, 1877.


The Turk, once again, makes illusory promises of Reform.

[Pg 3]
EVERYBODY'S FRIEND

EVERYBODY'S FRIEND!

March 2, 1878.


During the Russo-Turkish War a strict neutrality is preserved by Germany. She is now the "friend" of the Turk.

[Pg 4]
THE SUBLIME "SUPER"

THE SUBLIME "SUPER"!

(Rehearsal of Grand Military Drama.)

Stage Manager. "What are you to do, Sir? Why, get well to the back, and—wave your banner!!!"


September 16, 1882.


The Turk makes a great show of denouncing the revolt of Arabi in Egypt. He is not taken very seriously.

[Pg 5]
COOPED UP

COOPED UP!

October 26, 1889.


The Powers, despite the protests of Greece, leave it to the Turk to restore order in the Island of Crete.

[Pg 6]
DEEDS—NOT WORDS

"DEEDS—NOT WORDS!"

John Bull. "Look here,—we've had enough of your palaver! are you going to let the girl go, or have we got to make you?"


June 15, 1895.


The barbarous treatment of Armenia by the Turk compels the intervention of England, France and Russia.

[Pg 7]
A FREE HAND

A FREE HAND.

The Unspeakable Turk. "Ha, ha. There's no one about! I can get to business again."


January 18, 1896.


While England is absorbed elsewhere the Turk takes the opportunity to commit further outrages in Armenia.

[Pg 8]
A TURKISH BATH

A TURKISH BATH.

Sultan. "They gave it me pretty hot in that Armenian room! but—Bismillah! this is—— phew!!"


August 22, 1896.


A very "sick man" is the Turk. He goes from bad to worse.

[Pg 9]
TURKEY LIMITED

"TURKEY LIMITED."

Sultan. "Make me into a Limited Company? H'm—Ah—S'pose they'll allow me to join the Board after Allotment!"


November 28, 1896.


The Powers consider the advisability of placing the Turk "under control."
[Pg 10]

TENDER MERCIES

TENDER MERCIES!

Dame Europa (to Little Crete). "Don't cry, my little man. I've asked this nice, kind Turkish policeman to stay and take care of you!"


March 13, 1897.


The Turk is given another chance to mend his ways.

[Pg 11]
THE SLAVE OF DUTY

THE SLAVE OF DUTY!

Admiral John Bull. "Now then, out you'll have to go!"

The Unspeakable. "What! Leave my beautiful Crete in a state of disorder? Never!"


September 24, 1898.


The incorrigible Turk is deprived of his power to misrule in Crete. He is consoled by Germany.
[Pg 12]

THE MITYLENE MARCH

THE MITYLENE MARCH.

(Solo for the French Horn.)

The Sultan. "I don't like Solos! Give me the good old-fashioned European Concerto!"


November 13, 1901.


France sends a fleet to Mitylene and compels the Turk to respect the rights of certain French subjects.
[Pg 13]

BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA

BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA.

September 9, 1903.


Trouble again confronts the Turk. Macedonia, weary of his oppression, rises in revolt. Russia keeps an eye upon him.

[Pg 14]
THE OPTIMIST

THE OPTIMIST.

Abdul Hamid. "What, all the Fleets coming here? That will be fun! I do hope they'll have Fireworks!"


November 22, 1905.


The Powers decide on a Naval Demonstration to compel the Turk to settle the Macedonian difficulty.

[Pg 15]
OUT OF BOUNDS

OUT OF BOUNDS.

John Bull. "Shoo! Shoo!"

May 9, 1906.


The Turk tries to grab a bit of Egypt, but his bluster is unsuccessful. Under pressure he retires, as usual.

[Pg 16]
THE THRONE PERILOUS

THE THRONE PERILOUS.

July 29, 1908.


The condition of the Turk is very critical. Internal disorders indicate a serious danger of collapse.

[Pg 17]
THE SALT-WATER CURE

THE SALT-WATER CURE.

Shah of Persia. "Go on in, Abdul—just for the look of the thing. You can always come out if you don't like it."

Sick Man of Europe. "Yes, I know. But one gets so wet!"


August 12, 1908.


The Turk makes another specious effort to amend his constitution.

[Pg 18]
AT LAST

AT LAST!

November 27, 1912.


The liberation of Macedonia from the tyranny of the Turk is, at last, accomplished.

[Pg 19]
ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION

ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION.

Turkey. "Good! If only all those other christian nations get at one another's throats, I may have a dog's chance yet."


December 4, 1912.


The Turk still has a gleam of hope.

[Pg 20]
NO EFFECTS

NO EFFECTS.

Balkan Leaguer. "It's your money we want."

Turkey. "Money, dear boy? Search me!"


March 26, 1913.


The ever impecunious Turk.

[Pg 21]
SETTLED

SETTLED.

Dame Europa. "You've always been the most troublesome boy in the school. Now go and consolidate yourself."

Turkey. "Please, ma'am, what does that mean?"

Dame Europa. "It means going into that corner—and stopping there!"


April 2, 1913.


The Turk is driven to confine his energies to Asia Minor.

[Pg 22]
DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES

"DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES."

King of the Hellenes. "Our success was, as you know, entirely due to you."

German Emperor. "Thanks, thanks." (Aside) "I suppose he can't be referring to our organisation of the Turkish army."


September 17, 1913.


The decisive defeat of the Turk by the Greeks and their Allies is a bitter blow to Germany.

[Pg 23]
ANOTHER PEACE CONFERENCE

ANOTHER PEACE CONFERENCE.

Turkey (to Greece). "Aha! My young friend, alone at last! Now we can arrange a really nice treaty."


October 8, 1913.


The Turk makes a desperate effort to get Greece into a quiet corner.

[Pg 24]
HIS MASTER'S VOICE

HIS MASTER'S VOICE.

The Kaiser (to Turkey, reassuringly). "Leave everything to me. All you've got to do is to explode."

Turkey. "Yes, I quite see that. But where shall I be when it's all over?"


November 11, 1914.


There is, indeed, no health in the Turk.